Proud and Prejudged: Being a Fabulous and Erotic Adventure of Clara Brooks
Clara Brooks2013

"As Clara closed the book on the last page of Pride and Prejudice she’d slipped from her world of fact into fiction." Hi! My name’s Clara Brooks. I’m a young girl who likes ice-cream sundae, reading, studying medicine sometimes, and having sex with tall handsome men all-of-the-times. My mother always says that I have a hyperactive imagination but I think that’s bloody ridiculous. I admit that the events in this story - which I’m introducing right now - seem quite extraordinary, but they really happened to me. Seriously, why would I make this up? I really did see Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy having sex in the woods and honestly, it really was so hot that I couldn‘t stop touching myself. If you still don’t believe me then get in the queue behind my best friend Matilda, I guess. Anyway, here’s a little excerpt to whet your appetite: “There followed three gasps of astonishment. Firstly, Clara, the voyeur, gasped in astonishment as this scene from a favourite novel began to play out in a most unusual and unexpected way. Fortunately the two participants were entirely engrossed in their own actions and failed to hear Clara squeak as she watched Elizabeth Bennet move in towards Fitzwilliam Darcy and carefully unbutton his breeches. Secondly, Elizabeth Bennet gasped in astonishment as she carried out this action, one button at a time, before forcing them down and allowing to spring free the almightiest monster that lay hidden underneath. It is unclear if this was her first true sighting of a man’s cock, but certainly she could never before have laid eyes on one so firm, erect and huge. Her gasp of surprise was followed up by a lascivious grin and it was clear to the onlooker that Lizzie was very excited by what she was about to do. Thirdly, Mr Darcy let out a gasp of astonishment followed by a groan of pleasure as Lizzie began to handle the firm beast she’d just let free; grasping, firstly, the base of the shaft and balls in her hand, and then kneading, exploring and caressing them fully before taking the whole thing into her mouth and sucking it back and forth with extreme vigour.“ That wasn’t even close to all of it either and what happened to me afterwards was one of the most exciting experiences of my life. Can you blame me for wanting to share it with the world? Ok yes, I know that I’m asking you to pay a little money too but it’ll really help keep my freezer stocked with Haagen Daaz. My parents are cutting back on my allowances if my grades don’t improve. Apparently my head is full of silly stories and nonsense - really they don’t know the half of it. (Publisher's Note: It is currently unclear whether the author, Clara Brooks, believes the events she describes or whether they are indeed the result of the hyperactive imagination she mentions. Please could you therefore direct all complaints as to the integrity or authenticity of this text towards her psychiatrist. We just like to tell a good story.)