Zelah GreenVanessa Curtis2009

My name is Zelah Green and I'm a Cleanaholic. I spend most of my life on Germ-Alert. Germ-Alert is for when people forget to wash their hands and then try to touch me, or when they sneeze onto a tissue and throw it at the bin like they're playing netball and then miss, or even worse, try to pass it to me. Germ-Alert also covers cats, dogs, un-flushed toilets, greasy metal poles on tube trains, computer keyboards, and mobile phones without covers on, people spitting, kissing or dribbling, coughing, or doing anything else with their horrid bodily fluids. When I'm not on Germ-Alert, I'm on Dirt-Alert. Dirt-Alert is for when people come into the house from the garden with bare feet and tread bits of worm and grass and earth around the house. Dirt-Alert also covers drifting bits of fluff, crumbs, grimy black fingernails, people sweating too much, rancid fat on the cooker, old butter wrappers, smears on plates and windows and layers of dust on windowsills. Dirt-Alert is not as serious as Germ-Alert but it still takes up a lot of my time. It's a miracle I ever get to school....

Titre original : Zelah Green (2009)